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Seriously.  Drugs are bad…  I promise!  And I’m not talking about Colorado and Washington legalizing the recreational use of marijuana.  Pot might make you dumb and hungry, but as long as you don’t operate heavy machinery while on it, pot rarely kills you.  I’m talking about the pills that doctors prescribe.  The ones that were designed to cure a very specific illness.

Photo courtesy of Youtube. Lyrics courtesy of Lazyboy TV.

Very specific illnesses may include the following… ‘sore quads after track meet’, or ‘post chili-eating-contest indigestion’, or the ever-growing pandemic of ‘lasagna over-indulging obesititus’

Heard an ad for a new drug on the radio a while back.  I had to laugh.

Nuvigil is a drug prescribed to combat drowsiness in shift workers.  These are people who work the most absurd schedule on planet earth.  Many of them work strenuous, factory jobs.  I’ve done shift work.  It makes you tired!  It’s NATURAL!

But the FDA has you the tired, factory worker convinced that you need a pill to cure your drowsiness…  Good luck with that!

By the way the following, is a list of ADVERTISED POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS : Diarrhea; dizziness; dry mouth; headache; nausea; stomach pain or upset stomach; tiredness; trouble sleeping.

Wait a minute.

A) I bet it is tough to be drowsy while losing your intestinal contents from both ends!
B) A non-drowsiness drug that causes TROUBLE SLEEPING?  Say it ain’t so!
C) A non-drowsiness drug that causes TIREDNESS…  Seems slightly counter-productive.

But wait, there’s MORE!!!

Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Nuvigil: Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty swallowing or breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, throat, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); blisters on the inside of the eyes, nose, or mouth; chest pain; dark urine; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever, chills, or sore throat; increased urination; mental or mood changes (eg, aggression, agitation, anxiety, depression, exaggerated sense of well-being, hallucinations, irritability, nervousness); red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; shortness of breath; suicidal thoughts or actions; swelling of the legs; unusual bruising or bleeding; vomiting; weakness; yellowing of the skin or eyes.

And if that wasn’t enough… They hit you with this parting shot…

This is not a complete list of all side effects that may occur…
Way to cover all your bases Nuvigil…

Exactly 4 seconds into the radio commercial for Nuvigil I decided napping was easier.  Cheaper.  And probably safer.

All kidding aside…  I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel of a Chevy Cobalt on a windy country road and somersaulted my vehicle over a creek, and walked away healthier then a single dose of Nuvigil would leave me.

That being the case, I still can’t, in clean christian conscience, recommend napping and driving simultaneously.  All I’m saying is, IF it is AT ALL POSSIBLE (and I understand in certain cases medication is necessary for a person to function) go natural.  Eat healthy.  Exercise regularly.  Get plenty of rest (the old fashioned way) and by all means, keep the pill-popping to minimum.

You’ll live longer.  You’ll be happier.  And probably healthier…

Thank me later!

My name is Jonathan Turrell, and that is my two cents!